Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
