I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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