i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
