tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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