it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Randomize
