my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
