My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
