Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
