Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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