I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
