yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize
