Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
