it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
