the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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