how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
How naked do you want me to be?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
