Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
