Apparently you make a good broom.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Let's get the cat blown out
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize