We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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