I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
