Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
