don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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