i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
