but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize