We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
