It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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