**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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