i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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