I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Randomize