dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
