The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
