On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
It's Friday. Sex?
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
