omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
