i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
