I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize