So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
