I want to have your abortion
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
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