brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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