Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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