Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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