My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
