i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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