Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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