Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize