I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
