Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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