So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Is Oprah even human
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
