his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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