i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
