Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
