No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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