i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
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