Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
