I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think I sprained my soul last night
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Randomize
