I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize