I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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