Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
