I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
