Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
