You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
