I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
