Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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