Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
