New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
