Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
